When destinations change and life throws you a new route..............
http://users.erols.com/jmatts/welcome%20to%20holland.html
What a wonderful and inspiring poem. I was given a copy of this by a stranger that knew of me and what I was going through. The first time I read it gave me an enormous sense of relief and validation, that it was OK to feel disappointed with discovering that my child had a disability and feeling that my dreams and expectations would now be different. The initial moment when the 'news was broken' (this is how the term is worded by the health professionals), by the community paediatrician, really felt that my world was shattering all around me, how would I cope, what would her life be like, will she have friends, what does this mean...and hundreds of other fears and questions whizzing around my head. It was also the way in which the news was broken, that was in fact quite confusing. The paediatrician's words;
'she may just grow out of it or she will always need support'
rang in my ears for years. Part of me just expected one day we would wake up and everything would just magically snap in to place and be fixed....this is something that I waited for, for about three years, when it dawned on me that this was not actually going to happen. Izzy has developed and things have changed, but at a very slow rate, but she is still developing.
I felt quite angry with how this had been explained to me, because it may have taken a huge amount of 'waiting' out of our life and muddling through the unexpected on my own. I now look back at this in a very positive way. As I hoped that Izzy would just 'catch up' I kept hold of my expectations and treated her normally and expected her to be able to understand everything and eventually be able to do the things that I worried she may not be able to, this enabled me to realise Izzy's potential and not have anything to hold us back. It stopped me thinking that she may not manage or not be able to do certain things and just help and try and support her to do as much as she can.
What a wonderful and inspiring poem. I was given a copy of this by a stranger that knew of me and what I was going through. The first time I read it gave me an enormous sense of relief and validation, that it was OK to feel disappointed with discovering that my child had a disability and feeling that my dreams and expectations would now be different. The initial moment when the 'news was broken' (this is how the term is worded by the health professionals), by the community paediatrician, really felt that my world was shattering all around me, how would I cope, what would her life be like, will she have friends, what does this mean...and hundreds of other fears and questions whizzing around my head. It was also the way in which the news was broken, that was in fact quite confusing. The paediatrician's words;
'she may just grow out of it or she will always need support'
rang in my ears for years. Part of me just expected one day we would wake up and everything would just magically snap in to place and be fixed....this is something that I waited for, for about three years, when it dawned on me that this was not actually going to happen. Izzy has developed and things have changed, but at a very slow rate, but she is still developing.
I felt quite angry with how this had been explained to me, because it may have taken a huge amount of 'waiting' out of our life and muddling through the unexpected on my own. I now look back at this in a very positive way. As I hoped that Izzy would just 'catch up' I kept hold of my expectations and treated her normally and expected her to be able to understand everything and eventually be able to do the things that I worried she may not be able to, this enabled me to realise Izzy's potential and not have anything to hold us back. It stopped me thinking that she may not manage or not be able to do certain things and just help and try and support her to do as much as she can.
And just think of all those freedoms that Holland has to offer.
ReplyDeleteLovely! Both of you x